The journey of faith as a Muslim woman.

To be born into a Muslim household is one thing, to undergo that journey of faith and acceptance is an entirely different story .

Being a woman, I’ll focus on writing this from a muslimah’s perspective.

We all have that picture of the ideal muslimah in our minds. The familiar one that covers fully, prays and fasts fervently, recites earnestly, looks forward to a spouse whom she’ll love, respect and obey happily because the reward is in heaven, the only urges she has are those of religious compliance and so on.

I’m here precisely to tell you that she doesn’t exist. Instead, what we have are struggling lots. The universal trait of all human beings is imperfection; ukhtis included. Turning left, right, up or down, we see misogyny tightly wrapped and presented in the guise of religion. The most peculiar is hijabophobia; a sub specialty of Islamophobia. These will no doubt sow seeds of doubt in your mind. You begin ask your self if the deen really is also for you.

Few weeks ago, I went to a store to get gifts for my siblings as I was going home. It had been two months since we last saw one another. I was so excited and I rushed there before their closing time. I wore a full length hijab and entered. One of the attendants rushed over as I was checking out items to shop. Even though it’s clear I’m not blind, she recited the price tags and translated them slowly from English to a local language she assumed I understand. I’ve been to this store many times, that was the first time I wore a long hijab and it was also the first time I was mistaken for an illiterate.

My friend wore a long hijab and went to use an ATM. A man on the queue remarked as her turn neared; “I hope you know how to use it?”. A man even once challenged me in the market. This time it was an abaya. He loudly proclaimed my parents must be forcing me to wear it. Then those that pretend to have your good will in mind. Their line is usually: “Are you not feeling heat in that thing”. Well, I think those that use wigs that is stuck 24/7 till removal shouldn’t sympathize with those that wear a material over their head only when in public.

And as long as I live, I’ll never forget the case of the lady that wasn’t called to bar because of her hijab. My grievance isn’t the act itself but the response of the so called exposed, educated and tolerant. That jubilated and asked why she couldn’t remove it and even recommended Saudi for her to study since she’s bent on using hijab.

At least hijabophobia is mainly from outsiders, misogyny isn’t. It’s very easy to dismiss oppression of women as as one of the many societal problems. To see it as an injustice targeted against women because of their gender is the game changer. Then the equality question; Are men and women equal? Growing up in a typical Muslim society, you must have heard tales of male superiority. But with growth and exposure I began to question it. I remember asking an adult male what he thought and he replied men and women are equal but they have different roles. And in those roles lies the problem. Who dictates these roles? Are they fair? Do they reflect the supposed equality of rights? .

Those that insist on reducing your humanity bet on your mutual ignorance. Theirs being projection of culture as religion and yours, not knowing better. I needed an explanation for everything, so I began my research. From listening to reputable scholars to reading Hadith and Quran. I was smitten by the empowerment granted to Muslim women from above.

Domestic violence wrongly justified using the Quran done by vicious people, philandering in the name of rights to polygamy, denial of women education, relegation of wives to chore machines and the rest you’ve listed in your mind. ( pls leave in the comments section)

Being exposed after internalizing these abuses will definitely shake your faith. And I think that is where the grand wisdom of this Hadith comes in :

“seek for knowledge even if it’s to China”.

Knowledge of your rights is what will seriously damage this ignorance. You’ll be shocked how many things you’ll find out. Some of which were interpreted wrongly and most of which are deliberately never mentioned.

In conclusion, there are many beasts you have to duel with and only after your victory will pure faith and certainty be achieved.