Female Body shaming
A culture rooted in patriarchal standards of female beauty.
I once saw a photo of a couple; the bride was plus-sized. It was captioned: Only dogs eat bones, real men like flesh. At the time that I saw that, I frankly enjoyed it because I thought it was a good comeback to women that have consistently shamed other women for not being slim, and not fitting into the supposed standards of male admiration. It took me a few years of studying feminist theories and literature to understand that both groups of shamers are simply playing by the rules of the patriarchal system. They are tearing each other apart while playing a game none of them can win. While patriarchy says females must fight for male attention and approval, Feminism and enlightenment preaches diversity, female self-love, self-worth, and most importantly, sisterhood. It rejects objectification and sexualization of female bodies; e,g referring to women as either bones or flesh.
Some months ago, a friend posted that same photo and I sent her a private correction, I said it counts as body shaming. She understood and deleted the post. Yesternight, another friend of mine posted a video of a man talking down his wife, saying her body type is no longer in vogue, that slim women are better. (Just adding that he also fails on the same standards he was judging her by). Instead of sending her a private message, I chose to write this article for a larger reach.
Don’t be in a hurry to condemn because he doesn’t do what you do or think as you think or as fast. There was a time when you didn’t know what you know today.
-Malcolm X
Body shaming is the act of mocking a person’s physical appearance. I will narrow this to weight because that is the primary focus of this piece. Shaming based on weight is quite ridiculous because every woman can't fit into one or a narrow scale of size. Metabolism rate differs; you can eat the same as someone, yet have different weights. food break down differs, sometimes, due to genetics. Childbirth also plays a huge role as body weight increases. Or nothing, they are not just the same weight as you!
This shaming affects mental health, causes low self-esteem in women that have heard it enough, social withdrawal, and seclusion. Words can be damaging.
Each time you shame another woman because you believe she rates lower than you on the scale of male desirability, you expose your deep lack of self-love and self-esteem. And to achieve a gender-equal world, where women are respected and valued as humans and not objects, rhetorics that define our humanity based on patriarchal standards must end.
Sisterhood is the bane of Female progress. Fat shaming and slim shaming are two sides of the same coin as they carry undertones of competing for male desirability. And there is much more to life than that.
