A woman is safe until she’s not: #JusticeForUwa and so many, many others.

I’m angry, not only about the heinous act of rape itself, but of the loud silence and the glaring unlooking by the society.

Just this week alone, Five rape cases made it to the headlines. I don’t want to think of the countless others that didn’t because of the culture of silence we maintain around rape and sexual molestation. We hush and shush when it comes to discussing rape because we claim it’s a shameful thing. We take the burden of the crime and place it on the victim rather than the perpetrator.

Uwa was a 22 year old university student. She went to a church to read. She was later found raped and brutalized with a fire extinguisher. She later passed on. A man questioned why she didn’t go to a reading room. Another said if she hadn’t resisted the rape, her life would have been spared. Anything but blame the rapist. That’s why when I decided to participate in the online protest and awareness, I chose the following words.

Rape is a display of power and entitlement. It isn’t due to uncontrollable sexual urges. Never forget that!!!

When we attribute rape to uncontrollable sexual urges, we’re indirectly absolving the rapist of the crime and we’re putting responsibility of the victims. And the rapists know that. So they’re forever emboldened.

We raise our daughters to cover properly, to stay off deserted places, to not stay in a place alone with men, to not be flamboyant lest she attracts rapists to herself. But we never tell our sons that they aren’t entitled to women’s bodies. Is it a wonder when those sons rape, harass and molest our daughters even when they seem to abide by the precautions?

Misogyny and sexism plays a big role in the act of rape. A research carried out on convicted rapists found out they had at least one thing in common: a very low opinion of women. Boys in peer groups that constantly downgrade women are also more liable to commit rape than others.

When we raise young boys to think women are lesser humans, when we raise them to think women exist to serve them. They become men that are entitled to women’s bodies.

And before you complain of generalizations and ask me to use some men or some boys, remember that when women refuse to go for a night walk, when we quicken our paces at the sound of male voices, We don’t think some men, We think men because we don’t know which is going to rape us.

Women are being raped by strangers, acquaintances, friends, cousins, uncles,brothers and fathers. By religious institutions. The very people meant to protect. Women in short dresses, long hijabs and babies in diapers have been raped. Women in churches, mosques, homes, schools, streets, neighborhoods have been raped. If you still blame women at this point, I have to question your sanity. If rapists don’t stop raping, we will never be safe.

I took a course in social medicine and I learnt that: The extent to which people feel you’re responsible for your predicament determines the extent to which you’re stigmatized and discriminated against. When we set 1001 rules for women to avoid rape, it becomes difficult to feel sympathy when we’re raped because when you’re supposed to frown upon and strongly condemn the rapist, you’re searching for the 900th precaution we didn’t take. The victim is instead stigmatized and discriminated against.

We have a lot of unlearning and relearning to do as a society. If your response to rape is how, where and when if rape is being discussed, you’re part of the problem. Until you see rape as a crime that no woman deserves, you’re part of the problem. Until you call for justice instead of silence of rape victim, you’re part of the problem. If you joke about rape, you’re part of the problem. If you’re triggered by this write up, you’re part of the problem.

When men are oppressed, it’s a tragedy. When women are oppressed, it’s a tradition.

The thousands of rape cases recorded daily is alone to declare this country a state of emergency if we truly value women.

I’m angry. I’m outraged. I’ve written this the best way I can at this moment. Pls share to create awareness.

Re-education of the male child. Capital punishment for rapist. Reorientation of the society. #wearetired #wecantcontinuelikethis